Winter Hand

Believe it or not, this is a pretty accurate depiction of my right hand. It's bigger than my left, and damaged beyond wear and tear or what should probably be acceptable for those who use wheelchairs. This winter has already brutalized my hands, and it's only halfway through January. I've been trying to wear gloves as much as possible, but the catch is that any glove tough enough to get me from point A to B, is usually bigger and starts to gradually fall off. When it's wet outside, and the ground is covered with a thick brown/gray sludge, any glove gets soaked and heavy and starts to fall off my hands in mid-wheeling, making it difficult. My hands get soaked and frost bitten anyway. They're taking a beating.

The reason I drew this and wanted to post about it though, initially, had nothing to do with that. My original plan was to point out something new, that's kind of weird. On my right middle finger, which along with my right ring finger is cut short and missing the tip, I'm starting to develop a callus where I hold my pencils, pens, brushes. It's odd, after years and years of drawing constantly I would develop a callus now. I don't think I draw any more than before, but then again, maybe I do. I have no idea.

The other thing I should maybe mention for ...whoever is reading this(???)... I've been paralyzed for almost 15 years, and because of that injury, I lost all the feeling in most of my arms and almost all of my hands. At the very best, the parts of my hands I can feel isn't the same as full blown sense of touch. It's dampened and lessened. This is how I end up with so many cuts and ...missing parts of digits. In fact, the two surgeries I had on my fingers to cut them shorter were both without anesthesia. Wide awake hand surgery, twice.

Anyway, I drew this with that hand. I drew it hard. I drew it with pressure sensitive instruments like a pencil, a pen, and paint brushes with ink. That's how it's done. These hands take a beating, they're also capable of beating back. I guess that's what drawing is sometimes.